He stop and stammered..."Free musta....oh wow, uh...that's awesome....I guess"
But I'm jumping ahead, let me rewind to the start of the night:
Lisa's parents were in town, and I was planning on going to dinner with them. Rather than drive over (because I knew I was going to have a few glasses of wine) I decided to ride my vintage tandem bike over. Being that it was her mom's birthday, I told them I would stop for a birthday pie down the street at the Marie Callenders. It was a beautiful ride over, the sun was setting, the roads were fairly empty, and everyone I passed looked like they were finally unwinding the noose from a week's worth of work.
I decided on two pies, and got back on the bike to ride the two miles to her house. Here I was, the hero; pulling up on an awesome bike carrying the nights dessert. Right as this thought floated through my head, like a flash, I went down.
Yes, I fell.
The chain came off the bike, with one hand holding the pies I had no choice but to eat concrete on my left side. You've all been there- hit the ground and then jump up so quickly from a mix of adreline and embarrassment that it's even worse than if you just laid there. Quickly I assessed the damage: bleeding and raw elbow, with the tops of both feet (in flip flops) raw and oozing red. What do I do? I'm going to 'meet the parents' and I've not only completely crushed dessert, but I'm going in with a mutilated arm...after turning away from her dad for the first 2 minutes, I realized I was going to fess up. Especially when they took a look at the pies.
I cleaned myself up, with several doses of hydrogen peroxide; and powered through dinner. Don't worry, I made sure to pour with a heavy hand when it came to my own wine glass.
Leaving dinner, I felt like I couldn't leave well enough alone with this bike...in fact, my actual thoughts were "this bike owes me" and to pay me back I brought my tandem down the strand towards the Hermosa Pier. Being the most immature 30-year old I know, and one who love attention, I realized quickly that calling out to people as I rode by "free rides" wasn't giving me the punch or reaction I wanted. So I changed my greeting to "free mustache rides"...a calling that got a much better reaction.
As I rode down the packed pier, I yelled my greeting to several groups. Coming to the stop light, I noticed a group of guys with buzz cuts and 'Fire Academy' t-shirts on. One of the was obviously drunker than me, and he stumbled over and declared "I'm going for a ride on that bike."
me: "Ha ha don't get any ideas. No one's getting on this bike."
Buzz cut: "Oh yeah, I'm getting on!"
Me: (grabbing his wrist as he tries to mount the back of the bike) "No really, you're not getting on."
BC: "Why not? I'm getting on" (twisting his arm to try and free himself from my grip.)
Me: (maintaining a deathgrip on his arm) "Listen to me...you're not getting on. I'm sorry, I know it'd be fun but it's not happening."
Me: (Maintaining a death grip on his wrist, and simultaneously walking the bike across the street, while dragging BC with me.)
BC: "Why can't we be friends? Let go of me and let's be friends!"
Me: (stopping across the street in front of a crowded restaurant, while holding onto his wrist) "Look...it's not happening. I'll guarantee you're not getting on this bike, so what do you want to do?"
BC: (Takes a picture with his camera-phone, makes a stupid face, and jogs away)
Crisis avoided, why not walk the bike home? I'd say that the tandem and I were even tonight. It got me good by spilling me onto the street, but paid me back with a pretty good story.
